You may have seen the term cycle breaker on Instagram and other media. It refers to someone challenging past generational patterns so they can live differently. A cycle breaker works to free themselves from the chains of dysfunctional family bonds. Their work in turn frees the generations that come after them. It does not affect …
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Have you ever been told to “let go” of resentment over how a family member treated you? Rather than letting go I suggest accepting their limitations instead. Accepting their limitations does not mean condoning bad behavior. It means letting go of the belief that they will ever change, and the magical thinking that they will …
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Have you been in situations where looking back you should have felt intense fear but instead felt nothing? Did you minimize or deny rather than assess the circumstance accurately? This upside down response to threat is part of the freeze response. We often talk about the fight or flight response to threat, but the freeze …
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Feeling like you don’t belong can be linked to adverse events in childhood. If you felt forced to suppress your own needs to win the love and acceptance of your caregivers, you never felt celebrated for your authentic self. You had to play a role to maintain membership in your family, and now you believe …
Have you been told you’re responsible for healing after trauma? For example, someone says it’s not your fault what happened to you, but it’s your responsibility to heal from it. While it may be true, this advice always hit me the wrong way. I cringed a little whenever I heard it was my responsibility to …
Read more “How to stop feeling triggered about being responsible for healing”