How to ask for what you want without feeling guilty

Do you have trouble asking for what you want without feeling guilty? There are likely some good reasons for that which extend back to childhood. If you grew up in a home where you learned that your needs burdened others, you would suppress them. You internalized the idea that your needs were your problem and …

How to know when “you ruin everything” means something else

Have you been told “you ruin everything”? Perhaps not in so many words. But expressing honest thoughts or feelings got you maligned or punished. You may have grown up in a family where speaking the truth, any truth, got you silenced. “You ruin everything” is family code for “your truth telling threatens to expose my …

How to use mindfulness to overcome childhood trauma

Mindfulness has played a pivotal role in helping me overcome the symptoms of my unmet childhood needs. Many think of silent meditation when they hear the word. But it is far more accessible than that. Mindfulness simply means nonjudgmental acceptance of the present moment. Jon-Kabat Zinn has been credited with bringing this Buddhist concept to …