What is the desire of your heart?

What is the desire of your heart? Is it something you’re afraid to ask for because you think you won’t get it? Or maybe you’re afraid you will get it. Sometimes we’re afraid of success as much as failure.

If you have trouble discerning your heart’s desire you’re not alone. Many of us have trouble knowing what we really want. As a result, we never ask for it so we never get it.

If you have trouble discerning your heart's desire you're not alone. Many of us have trouble knowing what we really want. As a result, we never ask for it so we never get it. Click To Tweet

“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.” -Matthew 7:7

If it’s that easy, why do we find it so hard to ask for what we want? Or to even admit that we want it?

Here are three things that might be stopping you from knowing and embracing the desire of your heart. And what to do about it.

1. Guilt over the desire of your heart

You feel undeserving of such an extravagant heart’s desire. You feel selfish asking for something that is not about serving other people.

You worry about how fulfilling the desire of your heart will impact the people around you. Will it take away from your loved ones and leave them feeling like you don’t care?

Spend time getting to know yourself better. What are your likes and dislikes? Have you lost sight of them in the face of your responsibilities?

Know that once you start taking care of yourself and your needs, you will be able to show up more fully for others. It may sound like a cliché, but you can’t pour from an empty cup.

Are you filling up your own tank before you try to fill others? You may be surprised at how much more patience and loving kindness you extend toward others when you first offer it to yourself. Click To Tweet

Are you filling up your own tank before you try to fill others? You may be surprised at how much more patience and loving kindness you extend toward others when you first offer it to yourself.

2. Poor boundaries

Rather than asking for what you want, you bury your heart’s desire and do what pleases others instead. While at the same time abandoning yourself and what you really want.

It’s important to note that people pleasing is actually a fear of disapproval. Rather than risk rejection from others, you’re willing to reject yourself.

When we look at it this way, we realize how toxic people pleasing is and how much it keeps us from fulfilling our heart’s desire.

Practice saying no rather than defaulting to yes. Ask for time to think before committing to a request. Evaluate your relationships and see which ones drain you and which ones lift you up. Spend more time on the latter.

All these will bring you closer to uncovering the truth of your heart’s desire.

3. You fear change

Even though it’s not ideal, the comfort zone is, well, comfortable. Confessing and going after your heart’s desire requires change. It means stretching outside the comfort of your current life circumstance and envisioning something better or different.

That’s why daily gratitude lists actually make us feel worse (scientific fact!). It’s better to journal gratitude weekly or at most three times per week. More often than that, and it feels like settling and accepting less than what you want.

It's better to journal gratitude weekly or at most three times per week. More often than that, and it feels like settling and accepting less than what you want. Click To Tweet

Ask yourself if it’s more scary to stay where you are than take the risk to go after what you want. Tell trusted confidantes about the desire of your heart so they can support you.

Chances are it’s more scary to think about life being the same in a year, than to have the courage to make changes.

And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.

Anais Nin