Women make up 82% of victims of romance scammers. In spite of this fact, the media is saturated with stories about female grifters who dupe both men and women.
This is a curious bias and hugely misleading reporting. It gives women the false sense that men are no worse than women in this area.
This puts women at risk of being victimized. Another popular false belief is that only gullible women fall for these traps.
Instead, these women tend to be intelligent, highly educated, and successful in their fields of work.
Victims of romance scammers tend to be intelligent, educated, and successful in their fields of work. Click To TweetWomen who fall for romance scammers are not stupid or naïve. They are trustworthy and community oriented. In other words, good people who expect the same in others.
How do romance scammers operate?
It starts with “love bombing”, a common tactic among narcissists. That intense attention and affection that moves things too fast and prompts you to let down your guard.
They also pretend to like and dislike the same things you do. To build a false sense in you of having found the perfect partner.
Anyone can Google your name or read your Facebook profile to find out all kinds of things about you. This is material they use to give you the false sense of feeling “known”.
Scammers will isolate you and seek out victims who are already lacking support. If you have suffered a recent trauma like divorce you are far more likely to fall for one.
How to avoid romance scammers
Here are 4 ways to protect yourself from falling for a romantic grifter:
1. Don’t commit too fast.
Spend time with someone before becoming over involved with them or giving your heart away.
In the Dirty John podcast, his victim let him move in after only five weeks and married him shortly after.
2. Listen to what others say about him.
And not only the positive comments. Romance scammers are experts at conning people.
But listen to the one who points out his cracks. Or says she can’t put her finger on why she doesn’t trust him.
Women’s intuition is real and the woman who trusts hers is a gifted advisor. Pay attention to what she says.
Women's intuition is real and the woman who trusts hers is a gifted advisor. Click To Tweet3. Trust your own intuition.
Most women have spent their lives downplaying their God-given intuition. This is because we live in a world that downgrades feminine attributes and elevates cold logic instead.
Listen to that voice inside you and heed those red flags. They will always be there to mark the way to safety.
4. If he seems too good to be true, he is.
He claims to have a high-flying job but needs to borrow money. That’s a huge red flag and a common theme among romance scammers.
He has all the same interests as you and supports all the causes you do. Anyone could find those details on your Facebook profile.
Romance scammers use clichés women love to hear but most normal men never say! Click To TweetHe uses clichés that women love to hear but most normal men never say! Like, “I can’t take my eyes off you,” or “you’re the most amazing woman I’ve ever met.”
Be suspicious when he says these things very early on, like a first date. Pretending to fall for you immediately is the biggest romance scam of all.