How to stop expectation from ruining your life

It’s often said that comparison is the thief of joy, and expectation is the close cousin to that robber. Rather than comparing yourself to others, you compare reality to what could have been and feel you come up short. Instead of accepting things as they are, we stay focused on the future. We see happiness …

How to express your emotions in spite of toxic family

If you grew up in a dysfunctional home, learning to express your emotions may be challenging. If you encountered emotional neglect and abuse, you had to suppress your feelings to survive. Our emotions tell us what we need. If, as children, we discovered no one cared about our needs, emotions could feel dangerous. Instead of …

How to recognize contempt in a dysfunctional family

If you grew up in a dysfunctional family, you may have been treated with contempt. When your parents looked at you with disdain rather than love, that was contempt. In his research, Dr. John Gottman calls this combination of emotions (anger and disgust) one of the biggest relationship killers. Outward displays like eye rolling and …

How to stop needing closure after a toxic relationship

When a relationship ends, people often seek closure. When you leave someone due to their toxicity, freedom is often not enough. In fact, you cannot feel free without answers to lingering questions. Closure refers to a feeling of resolution and understanding following the end of a relationship. But when does the need for closure hold …