How to celebrate International Day of Beauty your way

beauty
Photo by Camille Brodard on Unsplash

Beauty in our culture has been hijacked and made into something subjective. Instead of a source of joy, beauty has become something we try to obtain and live up to.

The concept of beauty has created pain for many women as they feel they fall short of its elusive standard. But I prefer the definition on my Moonly app: beauty is in everything that exists in the Universe and implies a way of being, creation, and meaning.

An aesthetics and cosmetology committee started the International Day of Beauty in 1995. But beauty encompasses so much more than physical appearance. Here are 4 ways to celebrate this day in a way that fulfills and enriches.

1. Care for your body.

I am not talking about a punishing exercise regime or denying yourself the pleasure of fine foods. Go for a luxurious massage, body wrap or polish, or treat your skin to a facial.

Indulge your body in a treatment that’s only meant to serve your own pleasure. Let go of the desire to tame your body into submission to some ideal.

Eat healthy food and exercise moderately because you love your body and want it to work for you for a long time. Not because you seek cultural acceptance or love by looking a certain way.

2. Care for your soul.

beauty

Nourish your soul with a time of meditation. Envision what you want and how you’ll feel when you have it. Take yourself on a retreat, either online or in person.

Visit an art gallery or other cultural spot to indulge your love of beauty. Give yourself a massage with essential oils. Take your time to experience the fullness of this act of self-love.

3. Indulge your senses.

Enjoy aromatherapy such as the scent of essential oils in your self-massage. Drink an herbal tea which will satisfy taste buds and relax you at the same time.

Fulfill your desire for visual beauty by adorning yourself with beautiful accessories and clothing that make you feel wonderful. Apply your makeup and do your hair as an act of self-love rather than to please others.

Listen to soothing music that calms and relaxes you. Or energetic rhythms that make you want to dance. Then dance as if no one is watching. Close your eyes to achieve the feeling of freedom and abandonment.

4. Connect and communicate.

Speak beautiful affirmations of self-approval and self-love. Reach out to like-minded women for deep authentic connection.

Express yourself fully instead of holding back parts of you that feel unacceptable. Embrace your power and magic instead of dimming your light.

The world needs your unique gifts, so have the courage to display them even when it feels audacious or uncomfortable. Especially then.

Louise Hay and Wayne Dyer: how to create your reality

Louise Hay
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Both Louise Hay and Wayne Dyer passed away on this day a couple of years apart. They taught about the power of your thoughts to create your reality.

Both overcame tremendous odds to transform their lives by training their minds to think differently.

Louise Hay and Wayne Dyer stressed the importance of service over selfish ambition. They argue that you don’t attract what you want; you attract what you are.

So, if you withhold from others, you’ll experience lack. If you think only about what you want and what you can get, you’ll find it difficult to receive the help you need.

Some of us grew up feeling like we had to put others first to receive love. So, the service first mentality might feel like another form of self abandonment.

But when we seek to fulfill our true longings and align with our values, everyone benefits. We serve others best when we follow our heart’s desires. When we serve out of a feeling of obligation, however, resentment results.

Louise Hay said to love and approve of yourself

Louise Hay

Knowing yourself and what makes you happy is more important than seeking to serve first. Because the service aspect will take care of itself once you get aligned with your true purpose.

That’s why it’s better to focus on your own needs first. Louise Hay stressed the importance of self-love and self-approval.

Once you get clear on those, you will be in a primed position to serve the world and those around you in the best way possible.

As an example, I write first as a form of self-expression and to process my own transformation. But, I receive emails, DMs, and comments from people who say they’ve benefited from my posts.

Many artists and creators share this experience of helping people feel less alone or understand themselves better. Expressing themselves in a way that fulfills their own hearts and souls becomes a service to others.

Few musicians or artists began their work with service as their primary intention. But how many people have benefited through the enjoyment of great art or stirring music?

When we are true to ourselves and take the time to develop our strengths, everyone benefits. You don’t have to focus on service to create the life of your dreams.

Service becomes the natural outcome of pursuing those dreams. You only need to look within and pay attention to what makes you happy. Do more of that and the world will thank you for it.

What is self-connection and how to connect with yourself

self-connection
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Before you can be any good to the world or anyone else, you have to know yourself. That means self-connection, or re-learning who you were before you disowned the parts of you that felt unlovable.

Self-connection is an inside job and requires tuning into yourself apart from outside influences. Without it, we’re tossed to and fro by the opinions and expectations of others.

We end up living a life misaligned with our true desires. We fail to fulfill our purpose in life because we’ve denied the very things that make us who we are.

If you’ve felt disconnected or misaligned with your authentic self, here are 5 ways to self-connection.

If you've felt disconnected or misaligned with your authentic self, here are 5 ways to self-connection. Click To Tweet

1. Develop your intuition.

Listen to that inner guidance system that tells you which way to go and what to do next. Get quiet and eliminate distractions to hear the direction this voice provides.

There’s no guarantee your intuition will always be correct, but neither are all your outside advisors. And, if you take a wrong step as a result of your intuition, it’s one that came from an authentic place and will likely have something useful to teach you.

2. Stop people pleasing.

If you’ve been basing your actions on the desires of others, it won’t be easy to put yourself first. It takes practice and starts with figuring out what you like and dislike, then doing more of what pleases you.

Instead of looking outward for your validation, look within. Take care of your needs and let others take care of theirs. That doesn’t mean abandoning them, but setting boundaries around your time and energy.

3. Self-connection means making peace with your shadow.

self-connection

Many of us have disowned parts of ourselves that resulted in loss of love as youngsters. If something triggers you that’s often a sign of your shadow seeking the light.

Many of us have disowned parts of ourselves that resulted in loss of love as youngsters. Click To Tweet

If expressing anger, or even joy, made people withdraw from you, you’ll suppress those aspects of your nature and consider them bad. And you’ll experience shame and guilt when you do feel or express them.

Reconciling with these parts of yourself and making peace with your emotions drives self-connection. We need all the parts of us to make a whole, even those attributes we judge as wrong and want to disconnect from.

4. Start the day asking “what do I need?”

When we’re chasing goals, we forget to check in with ourselves and what we need. Instead we jump into our to-do lists in an effort to “crush the day”.

Goals are important (or not) but our first goal should be to nurture ourselves. I learned from Dean Graziosi to have goals for the way I feel first. You won’t get far trying to make progress on a depleted inner tank, anyway.

5. Meditate for self-connection.

Contrary to popular belief, meditation does not have to mean emptying your mind of all thoughts. In fact, it can look like quite the opposite.

Set a timer for ten minutes and let your mind wander. Observe the thoughts and emotions that come up and receive the messages they have for you.

If you want, journal what comes up for you. Know that writing down your desires makes them far more likely to come true.

Self-connection means learning to trust your internal compass instead of rushing for external opinions and validation. That requires time alone, away from the pressures and expectations of the world around you.

How to let go of limiting beliefs that hold you back from your best life

limiting beliefs
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What are limiting beliefs? They are those thoughts and feelings you take as fact that prevent you from living your best life.

Often limiting beliefs arise as a result of the way you were raised. They feel like such a part of you that you can’t imagine life without them.

Limiting beliefs may be there to protect us from perceived threats. For example, I’ve wrestled with an ongoing limitation around finances.

Limiting beliefs may be there to protect us from perceived threats. Click To Tweet

Because I grew up with financial lack, I’ve been terrified of investing money that doesn’t guarantee economic return. Only recently have I invested in myself for the ROI of self improvement.

My limiting beliefs around money are a protective mechanism against the perceived poverty that ensues when I invest in myself. So, how do we let go of our limiting beliefs and live our best lives? Here are 5 ways.

1. Be courageous.

You have to call out your limiting beliefs and act in spite of them. It took courage for me to invest in myself without a tangible ROI.

You’ll challenge years of programming and imprinting and do what feels unnatural. These beliefs don’t go away unless you push through the fear.

2. Develop yourself to bust limiting beliefs.

The labels we place on ourselves act as limiting beliefs that hold us back. For example, you might suppress your artistic side because you’re a “science person”.

But if you take time to develop different sides to yourself, you’ll see a new, more fulfilling future unfold. Many left-brained people have learned to write in order to share their messages with the world.

3. Meditate.

limiting beliefs

Spend some time in meditation envisioning a future version of yourself. How do you want to feel and what are the qualities you wish to embody?

Begin to imagine yourself as this person with these qualities and experiencing those feelings. Our emotions have the power to bring things into being and create a new reality.

4. Be kind to your inner critic or coward.

When it’s time for me to move forward or on to the next level, my stomach protests. I feel fear and anxiety in my gut, my body’s version of putting on the brakes.

The key is not to ignore or avoid those feelings, but acknowledge them. Thank your inner Nervous Nellie for protecting you from danger. Though misguided, she cares for you and is doing her best to keep you safe.

You can even have a conversation with her or journal your gratitude for her presence. Practice acknowledging these signs in your body, rather than disregarding them.

It’s important not to discount your body’s distress signals because they also protect you from real threats. The trick is to discern the difference and that means paying attention rather than dismissing them.

5. Trust yourself to break limiting beliefs.

Many of our limiting beliefs come from the world’s messages or the opinions of others. You can’t imagine a different life because you’re surrounded by small-minded people.

Many of our limiting beliefs come from the world's messages or the opinions of others. Click To Tweet

In addition to meeting more open-minded people, tap into your own inner knowing. Be a little stubborn when it comes to following your hunches.

When people question your choices or try to dampen your excitement with “reason”, stick to your vision. Don’t get angry or insistent because emotion creates outcomes.

Instead, pay scant attention to naysayers and save your precious emotional output for your dreams and desires. Let their comments and criticisms go or treat them like that inner Nervous Nellie.

They want to hold you back because they fear for your safety. But staying safe and comfortable is never going to help you step into the life you desire.

How to get treated with more respect in relationships

respect in relationships
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If you ask most people, they would call “love” the most important element of a relationship. But respect in relationships is equally important if you want to feel valued and cherished.

Without respect, it’s hard to imagine a relationship fulfilling anyone’s needs. We all need to feel recognized for who we are and what we bring to the table.

If you’re in a relationship where respect is lacking, you might want to consider whether this is the right match for you.

But if you think it’s worth working on and want to know how to get more respect for yourself, here are 6 strong strategies.

1. Put yourself first

Many people think putting themselves first means neglecting loved ones. In fact, when you put yourself first you’re able to serve others more effectively.

Sometimes we put others’ needs ahead of our own because we’ve been raised since childhood to do so. Putting our own needs first feels unnatural, but will become easier with practice.

Putting yourself first will help you become the person you were meant to be. You’ll spend more time on things that bring you pleasure which will enhance your strengths.

When you put yourself first, you gain the respect of others. This is not game-playing or manipulation but a genuine decision to care for your mental health.

When you put yourself first, you gain the respect of others. Click To Tweet

2. Set healthy boundaries to gain respect in relationships

Boundaries teach people how to treat you. When you lack boundaries, you let others dictate the terms of your relationship.

Relationships never get put to the test if you’re constantly going along with what the other person wants. How will you know if they’re only using you for what they can get if you never say ‘no’?

3. Know your values

respect in relationships

If you’ve been raised to become a people pleaser, you may not have a good grip on your values. You have no idea what you like or dislike because you’ve been too busy figuring out what other people want.

Knowing your values is essential to gaining respect in relationships. Rather than giving into someone else’s wishes, values become a filter through which you make your decisions.

Knowing your values is essential to gaining respect in relationships. Click To Tweet

They guide you as you build and create your life rather than reacting to someone else’s demands with self-abandonment.

4. Express yourself to get respect in relationships

Have you been hiding your true thoughts and feelings for fear of burdening your friend or partner? Or do you fear they’ll leave you if they know what you really think?

Constantly agreeing with others or failing to share your opinions makes healthy people disrespect and pull away from you. It’s mainly narcissists who want to surround themselves with “yes men”.

5. Tend a secret garden

The French call the time a woman spends on her own doing something she loves a “secret garden”. Set aside time in your schedule to take care of your needs this way.

Whether it’s reading a novel, engaging in a hobby, or some other project, tending your secret garden will increase your respect in relationships.

You do it to stay connected to yourself and what you love. To remember that you don’t need someone else to fulfill all your needs. The respect you gain is simply a bonus.

6. Communicate honestly

Never play games or try to manipulate your partner or friend into doing what you want. And don’t expect them to read your mind, either!

The best way to get and maintain respect in relationships is to be bold and clear in your communication. That means expressing your needs openly and honestly. And speaking up when something is not working for you.