How to achieve self-approval above and beyond self-acceptance

Photo by Drahomír Posteby-Mach on Unsplash

We hear a lot about self-acceptance these days, but what about self-approval? Wouldn't you rather go beyond mere acceptance to lavishing wholehearted approval on yourself?

Acceptance suggests tolerating. Do you choose to set such a low bar for your self-image? Self-approval instead means celebrating yourself and all the things that make you you.

Here are 7 tips for achieving the self-approval you seek and deserve to enjoy.

1. Look within for self-approval.

The obvious path to self-approval is looking within for validation rather than seeking approval outside yourself. You give away your power when you let others tell you if you're good enough.

2. Speak self-approval.

Say out loud the things you like about yourself. Go outside your comfort zone with your self-approval affirmations.

Say things like, "I am powerful, magical, magnificent, etc." These will make you feel different than repeating mantras that tell you you're merely okay.

3. Focus on what you want.

When you put the focus on what you want instead of what you don't want, you have a fighting chance of getting it.

When you move toward your goals and heart's desires and they begin to come true, you unveil your power. Knowing you're potent enough to make your dreams come true enhances self-approval.

4. Do more of what you love.

We are usually better at the things we enjoy doing. If you spend more time on activities that enhance your joy and work to your strengths, self-approval increases.

Frustration and feelings of inadequacy follow slogging away at things you don't enjoy. So outsource your weak areas as much as possible and build up your self-approval muscle by focusing on things you love.

5. Self care leads to self-approval.

When you take time to care for yourself, you tell yourself you're worth it. Self-approval skyrockets when you ask yourself what you need and deliver it.

You may not have had your needs met in the past, but you're no longer dependent on others to take care of you. Reparenting yourself means giving you the care and attention you never received as a child.

6. Set healthy boundaries.

When you stop abandoning your own needs and putting others first, your self-worth increases. What's terrifying and hard at first becomes easier with practice.

Each time you say no to someone, you tell yourself you are worth protecting. Your time and energy are yours and not for everyone else to use up.

Read The Giving Tree as a warning of what will be left of you if you don't stop over giving. (Hint: not much)

7. Never criticize yourself.

A lot of self-help literature aims to teach you how to deal with your inner critic. But, in the classic book You Can Heal Your Life, Louise Hay says simply: Never ever criticize yourself.

She teaches unconditional self-love and that means never speaking a critical word to yourself. Shame won't create change, so focus on who you want to be in the future instead of dwelling on past actions.