What it means to have confidence and how to achieve it

Photo by Alena Jarrett on Unsplash

What is confidence and why do some people have it and others don't? In a nutshell, it's a sense of feeling good about yourself and displaying that to the world.

Often, this good feeling is unrelated to someone's achievements or talents. That's because true confidence comes from within.

It is different from arrogance which is an inflated sense of self importance. Simply feeling good about yourself has a positive influence on others. It inspires them and makes them want to be around you.

You don't need to be outgoing to hold this unshakeable belief in yourself. There's such a thing as quiet confidence that's equally as captivating as the outspoken kind. More so, in fact.

5 ways to have confidence

If you've struggled with confidence the good news is it can be cultivated. Here are 5 ways to create more of this magic quality in our lives.

1. Trust yourself.

People who feel good about themselves tend to have faith in their decision-making abilities. Rather than overthinking, they trust their intuition to guide them.

So, instead of gathering a thousand opinions on what you should do, get quiet. Pay attention to your body and what it's telling you. Listen to that inner voice or pray for wisdom to make the right choice.

Confidence means you don't rely on others to make decisions for you. Instead, you trust yourself to know what's best for you. And if you need to redirect later, you can.

2. Communicate clearly.

Rather than avoid difficult conversations or conflict, you meet them head on. You set healthy boundaries that tell other people how to treat you.

You speak up for yourself and your needs. And you do so in a calm, clear voice. You never manipulate to get what you want. Because you know you have the power to get your needs met honestly.

3. Confidence means you take up space.

The way we carry ourselves reflects how we feel inside. Taking your rightful place in the world means standing tall with your shoulders back, not hunched.

It means speaking up when you have an opinion. And not allowing yourself to be interrupted when you're talking.

It means allowing yourself to be seen and known. Not shrinking into the background like a wallflower.

4. Resilience is confidence.

Feeling good about yourself means you take responsible risks. And when things don't go the way you planned, you pivot or redirect.

You're not afraid of change. You understand that picking yourself up after a setback is part of life.

For that reason, there are no failures in your eyes. Only opportunities for personal growth.

5. Increase self-awareness.

Confidence includes self-knowledge and an accurate assessment of your strengths and weaknesses. You choose to focus on the things you're good at rather than dwell on your shortcomings.

If your needs went unmet in childhood, you likely became a people pleaser who focused on others instead of yourself. Flip the script and ask what you need in this moment.

It may take a lot of digging to figure out what you want when you've abandoned yourself for so long. If you have yet to take time to know yourself this way, you're worth the effort.

Begin to journal your likes and dislikes. Commit to doing more of what you love and less of what you don't. Start saying 'no' more often.