Have you ever held back thoughts and opinions to avoid conflict? Neglected to express yourself fully for fear of the consequences?
Sometimes we tell ourselves it’s not worth the fight. And, hey, sometimes that’s true. I’m a big proponent of picking your battles and not taking up the sword for every single one.
But I’ve hidden behind a shield of conflict avoidance when I should have spoken up. And that was nothing more than a terrible form of self abandonment.
Not only did it prevent me from getting my needs met, it prevented others from knowing the real me. Here’s are five other things you stand to lose when you refuse to express yourself.
If you refuse to speak up at work, you will get passed over for promotions. Agreeableness is not the quality that gets you remembered when opportunities present themselves.
Same goes for entrepreneurs. Getting noticed and putting yourself out there are essential for a viable business. More importantly, your unique qualities that stand in opposition to the competition are key to your success.Your unique qualities that stand in opposition to the competition are key to your success. Click To Tweet
When you’re afraid to show how you’re different or even disagree with your competitors, you miss out on the opportunity to set yourself apart and attract clients to you.
2. Intimacy (increases when you express yourself)
Relationships won’t go to the next level if you don’t express yourself and reveal the real you. If you’re constantly agreeing and thinking of what the other person wants, lack of intimacy follows.
You betray yourself when you people please or refuse to share your troubles because you don’t want to burden anyone.
If people pull away from you in spite of you bending over backwards for them, that could be the reason. They feel they don’t know the real you and that’s repelling to people who want true intimacy and relationship.
3. Personal growth
When you have the courage to speak up for your needs and wants, you grow as a person. Your world expands according to your willingness to stand up and be known for who you are and what you believe.Your world expands according to your willingness to stand up and be known for who you are and what you believe. Click To Tweet
If you fail to express yourself because you fear rejection (consciously or not), you won’t align with your heart’s desire. You’ll never feel fulfilled because you’re looking outside yourself for approval and validation.
4. Confidence (increases when you express yourself)
Oh, how your confidence increases when you push through the resistance and express yourself fully. But first comes discomfort.
It’s painful to stretch outside your comfort zone and that’s why so few people do it. But if you decide the pain is worth the gain of showing up as your authentic self, unlimited rewards await.
You’ll love yourself so much, you won’t care what other people think. At least not enough to let it sway you from your purpose and values.
5. Feeling understood
Speaking from experience, feeling misunderstood goes hand in hand with failing to express yourself. That’s what happens when you expect other people to read your mind instead of clearly communicating your needs.
When you set boundaries that tell people what you will and won’t tolerate, it’s easier for them to understand what you want and give it to you.
And those boundaries will protect you from people who will never understand because they don’t want to. You know the ones…family members who don’t want you to change. Or friends who preferred it when you catered to their needs instead of your own.
And, whether others understand you or not won’t concern you as much. Because you understand yourself and what you need and you’re not afraid to say it. And that’s what matters most.