The most important relationship you'll ever have

Photo by Bart LaRue on Unsplash

The most important relationship in your life is the relationship you have with yourself. Because no matter what happens, you will always be with yourself. - Diane Von Furstenberg

Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world. -Lucille Ball

The most important relationship you'll ever have is with yourself. Without self-love and self-respect, none of the other relationships in our lives will work well.

how to nurture your most important relationship

So, how do we nurture this relationship with ourselves when self care might not come naturally? Here are 5 ways.

1. Take care of your own needs.

Resentment builds when we expect other people to meet our needs. We hope they will read our minds or pay us back for the sacrifices we made for them.

But it's our job to set boundaries to protect our time and energy. And to communicate clearly our wants and needs. It's also our job to meet those needs, now that we're old enough to do so.

2. Trust your intuition.

How many times have you ignored red flags and how did that work out for you? Any time I've failed to heed my intuition it's led to negative, sometimes catastrophic results.

Practice paying attention to your body when you need to make a decision. Rather than overriding its signals, listen to them and let them guide you.

3. Put yourself first.

Most of us, especially women, fail to put ourselves first. We come in second or last place in our own lives and that's become our normal.

Change your normal to one in which you come first. When you ensure your own cup is full before pouring into anyone else's, all your relationships will benefit.

You won't harbor resentment or suffer from martyr syndrome. People in your life will get the real you instead of one who's pretending her needs don't matter.

4. Don't compare yourself.

The only person you should compare yourself with is your old self. You have unique needs that other people might not share, such as a need for more solitude and quiet.

It doesn't matter if someone else can get a million things done in a day and you can handle three. Your primary job is making sure your inner world is a place of peace and happiness.

Stay off the productivity hamster wheel. I recently made feeling good my #1 goal instead of metrics-based targets. External validation feels good for a moment, but there's nothing like inner peace.

5. Express yourself.

Have you been keeping your thoughts and feelings under wraps for fear of rejection? Stop that! Loving and respecting yourself means speaking your mind.

You deserve to be seen and heard for who you are and what you believe. You're not here to appease others or blend into the background.

Speak up when you disagree and offer your thoughts and opinions before you're asked. Take your seat at the table and let people know what you think. The right ones will appreciate the opportunity to know you better.