Must reads to recognize & heal complex ptsd
Why willpower is a myth and never works for long
Some say those who fall prey to addictions lack willpower. But at the height of my alcohol dependence I trained for and completed a marathon. I monitored my caloric intake and never gained an ounce of fat.
Why you need personal standards and how to set them
Personal standards are like boundaries that keep you safe. They let the good people in and keep the bad people out. Or at least the people who may not be best for you.
Why you can never relax and enjoy your free time
Do you feel as though you can never relax, even on vacation? Is every spare moment filled with activities and obligations, most of which you don’t enjoy?
Signs you underestimate yourself and how to see clearly
When you underestimate yourself, it can lead to a lack of fulfillment in life. You fall short of your purpose and potential because you hold yourself back.
Signs of toxic people and how to deal with them
Nobody’s perfect, but toxic people can really hold you back and make you question yourself. They come in many forms, but here are four major red flags.
How to recover from being the family scapegoat
If you played the role of family scapegoat, others targeted you for shame, blame, and abuse to avoid looking at themselves and their own problems.
How to self-soothe in healthy ways vs. unhealthy coping
Many of us, when we try to self-soothe, have trouble understanding what we really need. We may have been primed since childhood to suppress or ignore our needs. So, when time comes to take care of ourselves, we’re at a loss to know what to do.
How to reparent yourself by grieving a lost childhood
If our parents were unreliable, abusive, neglectful, or worse, we fail to learn some basic life skills. We need to reparent ourselves to learn things like setting boundaries, healthy habits, emotional regulation, and relationship building.
Expectation and reality: what happens when they're out of alignment
The last time I felt unhappy I took a moment to consider why. What happened to create this feeling of disappointment? I realized my expectation and reality had become misaligned.
How to know if you're having a midlife crisis, women
We used to think of men when we talked about a midlife crisis. Now we know women also suffer through them, but the signs look different.
How to know if you were raised by a narcissist
Narcissists lack the most important components of parenting: empathy and compassion. If you were raised by a narcissist (or two) you’ll suffer the consequences of their deficiencies.
One year into the pandemic: why we need hope more than ever
One year ago my daughter and I sat in an empty downtown cafeteria-style restaurant, normally so full on a Friday night you could barely move.
How to overcome devastating impact of unmet emotional needs
Many of us had our physical needs met in childhood while suffering with unmet emotional needs. It’s only recently that the epidemic of childhood emotional neglect has been acknowledged, so most of us have suffered in silence.
What is toxic positivity and how to combat its tyranny over your life
Have you experienced toxic positivity? I first heard the term in a recent YouTube interview with psychotherapist Seerut Chawla.
How to stop hiding and start living your authentic life
It’s hard to stop hiding when you’ve been doing it most of your life. You might not even remember when you started or why.